How to Write Your Loved One’s Obituary

January 9, 2023

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You don’t have to be a professional writer to write a thoughtful, respectful obituary for your loved one. Anyone can write one for a friend, family member, or colleague. And while it can be emotionally wrenching, you can craft a solid obit by following this guide from Milton-Freewater, OR, funeral homes.

Gather relevant information

An obituary, at its core, is a death notice that compiles relevant facts about the deceased. These facts provide context to the reader about whose death it is. Necessary facts include the dead person’s name, birthplace, age, location, and death place.

Other useful details include career history, marriage information, and personal achievements. If you don’t have this information, you can ask family members, coworkers, and friends.

You can then use these details to craft a brief introductory description like this:

“On Friday, December 6, 2022, John Doe, loving husband, father of four and brother, passed away at 80.

John was born on August 30, 1942, in Milton-Freewater, OR to Patrick and Alice Doe. He was a lawyer, who received his law degree from the University of Oregon, and practiced Civil Rights law for 30 years.”

Specificity and brevity are encouraged for this part of the obituary. Try to say as much as possible with a few words.

Include details that made them special

Dry obituaries that cut straight to the chase are fine. But if you wish to add some extra spice and make it memorable, include anecdotes and personal characteristics that capture the deceased’s spirit.

You come up with the best details by asking yourself questions like –

  • How would they want to be remembered?
  • What is your favorite memory of them?
  • How do most people describe them?
  • What were their favorite hobbies and personal quirks?
  • What impact did they have on their community?

Not all of these questions have to be answered in the obit. They are examples to help you find the tone and style for the story you wish to share about the deceased.

Mention surviving family members

After painting a word picture of the deceased, mention their surviving family. Don’t feel the need now to mention every nephew or cousin by name. A general overview that includes closest relatives and other members by title or group is more than okay.

For example: “John is survived by his wife, Beatrice, and their three children: Joel, Betty, and Deborah; his sister, Laura, and several cousins, nephews, and nieces.”

Share funeral information

Finally, let the reader have the relevant funeral information. This includes the date, time, and location of the service.

If there’s any other information you wish the public to know, now is also the time to share. It could be where you want donations, flowers, or a dress code for guests.

Don’t forget to proofread before you publish. An obituary is a matter of public record, and a mistake can have a lasting impact. Share your draft with a friend or family member to confirm the facts and ensure every detail looks good.

Milton-Freewater OR funeral home

This is the basic structure of an obituary, but the exact arrangement is up to you.

Contact us if you need additional help writing your loved one’s obituary. We understand this is a difficult time for you. Our Milton-Freewater, OR, funeral home will work with you to craft an announcement that captures their spirit and essence.